US Treasury Develops Innovative Financial Derivative to Participate in the Equity Upside of Banks It Supports

The Product is Known as a Convertible Undated Note Transferable into Stock or CU*Ts

(note: Searchles takes a quick breather from 'judging stuff' this morning to bring you breaking borderline-inappropriate news from Washington)

Washington, DC - 17 October, 2008 - As part of Hank Paulson’s TARP package, the US Treasury has developed an innovative financial product in order to give the Treasury and the US Taxpayer an opportunity to participate in the equity upside of the banks the Fed is currently supporting. The offering, known as a Convertible Undated Note Transferable into Stock or CU*Ts, is the product of weeks of deliberations between the US Treasury and Major Financial Institutions around the nation. The breakthrough came early this week when a number of leading officials met with Hank Paulson and Senior officials at the Treasury Department. It is rumored, according to a source close to the negotiations, that when the Treasury’s capital investment plan was presented in a summary term sheet to the CEOs, one of them dropped his head into his hands in despair and uttered “CU*Ts”, to which a Treasury official after closely analyzing the intricacies of the term sheet soberly replied “correct." No one is quite sure where the idea for the product and its acronym actually originated, though members of the Washington media elite are speculating it may have in fact originated from Joe The Plumber and his neighbor Derek the Drywall Guy. When asked by media this week how he would propose resolving the financial crisis, he responded, "When it comes to the Wall Street stimulus package, I think CU*Ts will play an integral role..."