Things I Don't Want to Meet in a Dark Alley: 9 Creepy Mascots

Creepy mascots - pretty much entails any and every clown, animatronic figurines, sketchy dancers, those that make small children cry when in theory they're supposed to have the reverse effect. Ronald McDonald was seriously my worst nightmare when I was little. I thought he was going to come out of the sewer kind of like those zombies from the Thriller music video. I guess I was eating a lot of McDonalds and watching a lot of MTV back then. That aside, here are the top 9 creepy mascots out there these days. Some are obscure (hi Dr. Simi!) but that doesn't make them not creepy. That's a double negative. If you have some videos you want to mashup into a Top 10 list you can use Searchles TV to do so. Check it out here!



1. Old School Ronald McDonald - this is the first time I've ever seen this and it warranted a separate listing. Why is he in the dark when he's introduced? Why does he have a dixie cup on his face? Why does he know we're going to be fast friends?

2. New School Ronald McDonald - Ugh. When a smile is painted on even though said person could be frowning...that is just unnatural. Somethin' ain't right.

3. The Burger King - This guy's a little new on the scene but I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't already snatched him up for a horror movie...with high schoolers...at a Rennaisance Fair.

4. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man - Possessed, oversized marshmallow men need no explanation.

5. The Phillie Phanatic - Like an overgrown, overweight, lost-his-way character from the Snorks. Sorta likes to molest people at the crowd's enjoyment. Philadelphia fans are sick.

6. Animatronic Smokey the Bear - Animated Smokey the Bear...fine. Animatronic Teddy Ruxbin-style Smokey the Bear. Not okay. It looks like he's holding a hit-list.

7. The Quizno's Rat (Gerbil?) - I think they were shooting for some sort of viral video phenomenon but it pretty much boils down to folks not wanting to associate their toasted sammiches with rodents.

8. Dr. Simi - This Mexican pharmacy mascot is pretty pioneering in the pharmacy mascot field. Still...as far as dark alley's go...not cool.

9. Chick-fil-A Cow - This could just be a skiddish child but a mascot that's encouraging you to save cows and kill chickens...is still encouraging you to kill.